Moms, Moms Everywhere

Moms, Moms Everywhere—that’s actually the title of a LifeWay webcast in which I participated recently  (to be aired today at noon (CDT),  Tuesday, September 18 and available at Lifeway Women Live).  But it’s also how I feel this time of year.

OK, so I see moms everywhere all year round.  But recently I’ve been particularly impressed by how much we moms need each other.  As the school year opens, I always hear (and sometimes see) the excitement of moms reconnecting at their Mom to Mom groups—or starting a new one.  This coming weekend I’ll be with hundreds of moms at the wonderful .Mom conference in Birmingham (I think you can still register!)  Then next month I’ll be in Colorado with loads of moms at the Hearts at Home conference in Colorado Springs.  And then in November with many more at Hearts at Home in Rochester, Minnesota.  Moms, Moms everywhere—and I love it!

But it’s not just at big conferences or even in Mom to Mom groups.  I see moms in our neighborhood, at the supermarket, at church, at the mall—really, everywhere I go.  They are old and young, biological moms and adoptive moms and foster moms and blended-family moms, grandmoms raising grandchildren—all kinds of moms.

But there’s a common theme.  I see it in their faces and body language and I hear it in their tone of voice.  Moms need encouragement.  Lots of encouragement.   Last week I spoke at a local Mom to Mom, and a conversation with one mom captured it.  It was this woman’s first time at Mom to Mom.  At the end, she stopped and talked with me.  She wanted to thank me for “doing this.”  She told me about her own mom, her husband and family, and how she was doing as a mom.  “I think I need spiritual mothering,” she said.  She went on to tell me why.  But she ended her conversation with this:  “Thank you. This has been so helpful.  I just feel so encouraged.”

Praise God!  Just want we want to do at Mom to Mom: encourage moms.  Just what the people who plan big mom-conferences want to do: encourage moms.  And just what every one of us can look to do in our own lives: encourage moms.  Whether you’re a new mom or an experienced mom with grown kids or grandkids, whether you are part of a moms’ group or not—wherever you live, whatever you do, there are moms everywhere around you that you can encourage.  With a smile.  With  a word of affirmation.  With a helping hand at the door of Walmart or the public  library.  With a meal to a sick mom.  Or, best of all, some spiritual encouragement: let a mom know you’ll pray for her (and DO it!), invite her into your moms’ group or Bible Study, or watch her kids when they’re sick so she can go to her Bible Study or moms’ group.

A challenge:  Look around you and look for a mom you can encourage—today.  It’s much-needed.  It’s fun.  And it’s Biblical: “So encourage one another daily…”  (Hebrews 3:13)   Do it!

And if any of you have some creative suggestions for encouraging moms, or can share an experience where you were encouraged by another mom—I’d love to hear from you!   Or,  if by chance you’re going to be in Birmingham September 21-22; in Colorado Springs October 12-13; or Rochester, Minnesota, November 9-10, come see me.  We can encourage each other!

Being a Titus 2 Leader Is a Blessing

When I was asked to be a Titus 2 mom, I was very humbled and a little surprised.  I guess I didn't want to admit that I had at some point crossed over the point of being a "young" mom to an "old" mom!  I had attended several Hearts at Home conferences years ago, so I was excited that our church might be able to develop a biblically-based learning group for moms.  I prayed about it and said yes. Well what a blessing it has been for me!!  The fellow Titus 2 moms are wonderful mentors to me and I love spending time with the "young" moms again. It brings back the wonderful memories of those early days and again I am humbled to be able to help and encourage them through their journey of being a mom as I know what a blessing it is from God!  But, I never imagined how much I would get from the program.  As you said, God's word never gets old and we need to keep hearing it over and over.

I want to share one of my highlights with you because it means so much to me.  I think (hope) our family life has peaked in terms of business and craziness.  We have two away at college, but one day at the end of January, it was the 17th birthday of our oldest son at home, and I had a Mom to Mom meeting that morning.  I had no present for him because honestly (and sadly) he really did not need anything materially and I just didn't have it in my heart to "buy" a present for the sake of having a present.  So as I am rushing getting ready for our meeting time, I am thinking to myself that I shouldn't be doing this Mom to Mom thing, that I just didn't have time for it.  I always want to make sure I am putting my family first and I just had a incredible amount of mom-guilt that morning.

But I went and listened as Linda Anderson spoke to our group via the DVD.  As crazy as it sounds, I know God was talking to me through her.  It was Heart Talk Session 6: Biblical Building Blocks of Self-Worth.  It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear that morning.  Anyway, as I was listening to Linda and thinking about our son, the idea of the best present came to me.  Why do I have to buy "something" for him?

Instead, I went home and wrote him a long letter telling him how special he was, how thankful we are for him, and how God is always there for him.  With that letter I promised him that once a month for his 17th year either I, his dad, or both of us would take him out for a special dinner. In a large family, that just does not happen!  It has been my most treasured gift that I have given in a long time.  I look forward to being able to do this throughout what is basically his last year at home before he goes off to college.  We have done it three times now and every one has been wonderful.  I am guessing that this may become a new family tradition for us and it is all because of Mom to Mom!!

Beyond “Us”

Have you ever been so focused on yourself that you lose sight of others? Maybe it's all the responsibilities you have in caring for your family. But somehow you just find yourself needing something more. Recently our Mom to Mom group was there! We spent week after week discussing the issues that face us every day.

So we decided to reach out. Our group was presented with a challenge to help a local community agency, Nurses for Newborns. This organization supports at-risks moms and/or babies in the early stages of parenting. Our group decided that we could look beyond our needs and help other moms less fortunate. We decided to make Easter baskets for the agency to deliver to the moms with whom they work. Our moms collected some new and some gently used items for the baskets. We used part of our workshop time to assemble the baskets. By the end of the day we had 50 baskets to present to the agency! Our moms were even surprised by what they were able to join together and do. It was a refreshing time to take our eyes off ourselves and focus on someone else in need.

To some in our group, the idea of giving back to the community is quite common. Others, however, were learning about this blessing for the first time. This was a wonderful way to look outside the stress in our own homes and share a breath of springtime with others!

By Lori Campbell, Titus 2 Leader

Rolling Hills Community Church Mom to Mom

Franklin, TN

Ask a Titus 2 Mom

Today at our Mom to Mom we hosted the very first, "Ask a Titus 2 Mom." Over the past few weeks, the moms have been submitting questions that they wanted us leaders to answer. With the young moms gathered in chairs positioned in a semi circle and the leaders' chairs positioned on the stage, we told the young moms that the chairs onstage were for the experts who had all the answers. Therefore we would not be sitting in those chairs. Then we leaders took seats right in front at the moms' eye level.

We met them as a group of "older" moms who are further along on the journey and willing to share our strengths and weaknesses, things that have worked for us and things that haven't. The only thing we could say definitively and totally agreed on is that God has been and will continue to be faithful, and that He promises to give us wisdom when we ask Him. The questions asked and the answers shared were honest, loving, and from the heart.

Both moms and leaders agree it was a good day at Mom to Mom.

—Saundria, in Tennessee

Things I Love about Mom to Mom

Since this is my 100^th blog post, I decided to celebrate with a very different post than usual.  Though Mom to Mom comes up regularly in my ramblings, I don’t often write just about Mom to Mom.

But these days I’m feeling very reflective.  Believe it or not, Mom to Mom is approaching a big birthday: #20!  That may surprise you, as our curriculum is more recent.  But the first Mom to Mom was actually held at Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts, on September 19, 1991.  I remember the excitement that first day.   We were ecstatic just to have gotten through the morning—a great morning.  But little could any of us have imagined what God had in store for Mom to Mom!

I often tell people that I came into Mom to Mom kicking and screaming.  My first love had always been teaching Bible studies.  When God began to call me to develop a moms’ ministry, I felt a little like Moses in Exodus 3: “Great idea, God!  I’m sure there is someone who would love to do it.”

What was I thinking?  How could I have possibly missed this wonderful ride!  Any of you who know me know I love Mom to Mom! So, in a celebration of praise and thanks to God, here, in random order, are a few “Things I Love about Mom to Mom”:

• I love being with moms.  Is there anything better?
• I love hearing moms breathe a sigh of relief: “It’s so good to know I’m not the only one who . . .”
• I love watching moms come to know God.  One mom’s words to me were simple but profound: “Just think: Before Mom to Mom I didn’t even know your God.  Now He’s my God, too.”
• I love hearing how women have learned to love their children better.  One mom told me, “When I first came to Mom to Mom, I was completely overwhelmed with my one baby.  I think I was borderline abusive.  Now, after four years at Mom to Mom, I have three children and just love being a Mom.
• I love watching women connect. “I just moved into this area.  My family’s far away and I felt so isolated in my mom-job.  My Mom to Mom group has become family to me!”
• I love seeing eyes opened to the LIFE that is in God’s Word. “I notice there are things in the Bible I want my kids to know. So I think there must be things in the Bible I need to know. I’ve never read the Bible.  But I’m going to get one.  Does your church have classes about the Bible?”
• I love hearing from husbands about how they appreciate Mom to Mom. One stopped me in the hall at church one Sunday to ask: “Could you possibly do Mom to Mom two days a week?  Mom to Mom days are our best days!”
• I love the community created at Mom to Mom. One mom told me this week: “My daughter has had four miscarriages in the past 18 months.  It’s her Mom to Mom group that’s gotten her through.  They’re her life-line.”
• I love how we all grow at Mom to Mom. A Titus 2 leader told me just yesterday: “I’ve never once left Mom to Mom without at least 2 or 3 things I could apply directly in multiple relationships.  My kids love Mom to Mom.  My husband loves Mom to Mom.  My friends love Mom to Mom.”
• I love seeing lives—and families—changed. One mom admitted to being so angry when she first came to Mom to Mom that she tried to shock her leader with her worst language. Since then she and her husband and children have come to Christ. They’ve been great witnesses for Him through illness, on mission trips, and in their own church and community.
• I love watching God at work! Mom to Mom is Titus 2 lived out.  When we signed the contract with LifeWay for our new curriculum, one of our board members responded with Psalm 118:23: “This is the Lord’s doing.  It is marvelous in our eyes.”  A perfect verse for Mom to Mom: God is at work.  How eternally grateful I am to be a part of His work!

Or course you know I could go on and on with my list.  But I’d love to hear from you.  What do you love about Mom to Mom?  How has God grown you through Mom to Mom? It could be a word, a sentence, or a brief anecdote.   But don’t forget: We’re going to draw from all those who comment two winners for those tickets to .MOM.  We’d love to see you there!

Choosing a Theme

Though it is not necessary, you might want to prayerfully consider choosing an over-arching theme for your Mom to Mom each year. This year we chose “Gratitude,” weaving the topic into our devotional times, Chew ‘n Chats, guest speaker topics, “quote of the day,” and closing celebration brunch.

Focal Scripture

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” (Philippians 4:6, NLT).

Guest Speaker Topics

• “Is Gratitude Conditional?”
• “Thanksgivin’ Livin’: A Hands-on Prayer Experience”
• “Hand in Hand: Hospitality and Gratitude”

Suggested Reading

Choosing Gratitude Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Note: Each Titus 2 Leader was given a copy. We discussed select chapters throughout the year at our Chew ‘n Chats.

Selected Quotes of the Day (from Choosing Gratitude)

• “Choosing gratitude means choosing joy.”
• “Gratitude is a life-style.”
• “Let’s allow the Spirit to make gratitude the new default setting of our hearts.”
• “Thanksgiving puts us in God’s living room. It paves the way to His presence.”

Closing Brunch

Closing song: “Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart” by Henry Smith

Suggested Summer Reading

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

One Thousand Gifts

—Saundria, in Tennessee

Workshop Day

I am so looking forward to workshop day!  We have a Mom to Mom group in New England and we decided that with our incredibly long winters, we needed a break and a “pick me up” day rolled into one. On this one day (or it could be two) we can “vacation” from the core lessons and offer a multitude of workshops that will sharpen our intellectual as well as our creative minds.  Moms will sign up for workshops that range in interests, from flower arranging to “Exploring Your Faith”—from creative memories to dealing with depression—and any and everything in between.

We are blessed to have a church where talented individuals share their gifts with our ministry.  I am always looking for new suggestions to add, so please feel free to share any workshop ideas that may come to your mind!

—Connie, in Massachusetts

Pajamas!

Take a look at our evening Mom to Mom group!

About 45 minutes prior to the moms' arrival, our leadership team meets for devotions and a time of prayer for our evening. This is a super time to connect with my leaders.  The first one walked in wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, along with comfy slippers.  I thought she looked real comfortable and wished I were dressed more comfortably, too!  The second leader walked in—definitely in pajamas.  By now I'm getting suspicious :)  Then the first member mom arrived (very early) wearing flannel PJ's and her robe.  I finally asked what was up?!!

Turns out that our moms wanted me to know how comfortable they are at Mom to Mom.  This is our first year together. I'd been away at our bi-annual Mom to Mom Ministries Board meeting and missed the prior week, so they'd had an opportunity to plan the surprise.

Our moms love the teaching, the encouragement from their leaders, and the fellowship with other. We meet from 8 until 10 p.m.  It's late in the day, but our moms can feed, bathe, and some can even put their kids in bed before coming.  The dads are home, so babysitters aren't needed. It's the only time our community center is available in the neighborhood.   At the end of our evening, all of us are only 5 minutes from home!

Hoping your moms feel as "at home" at Mom to Mom as ours do!

—Tonya, in Texas

Moms Encouraging Moms

Did I ever have fun this last weekend!  Mom to Mom had an exhibit at the Hearts at Home National Conference in Bloomington, IL, so two Mom to Mom friends and I got to spend two full days just listening and talking to moms.  What a privilege.  What a ride!

You know how I love moms.  And to hang out with over 4500 of them over a period of two days—that’s what I call a little bit of Heaven.  Of course we had fun talking about Mom to Mom.  We met moms who had never heard of Mom to Mom, moms who are currently in a Mom to Mom, and moms who are thinking of starting Mom to Mom in their church or community.

We even had a little mini-reunion with four moms from Vermont who are now in their fifth year of Mom to Mom.  They’re going through the curriculum a second time, with lots of new moms and some who’ve been there from the start.  It has grown into a wonderful outreach in their community, as the vast majority of their moms are not from their church.   I just love hearing Mom to Mom stories like theirs!

But in addition to talking Mom to Mom, we had wonderful opportunities just to listen to moms.  To look into their eyes and listen—really listen.  There were physician moms and farmer moms, single moms and blended family moms, biological moms and adoptive moms, moms of all sizes and shapes and ages and circumstances.  Each has their own story.  But they had one thing in common:  They all needed encouragement.  They all needed to know that “You mean I’m not the only one who...?”

Of course they got tons of encouragement from the conference speakers and singers and emcees and humorists.  But I also watched them encouraging one another.  And I watched my colleagues, Karen and Tonya, pour encouragement into moms with their big smile, bright eyes, and listening ears.  It’s what Mom to Mom is all about, really.   And Hearts at Home, too.  (Check out their website for future conferences, and come see us again!)

So here’s my takeaway: Encouraging another mom is one of the best things you can do.   And as much fun as it is to hang out with thousands of moms, you don’t have to be at a conference to encourage another mom.  You can do it right in your own backyard.  Or preschool.  Or supermarket.  Or via email, text, twitter, or Facebook.

It’s what Paul was talking about when he said “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  (I Thessalonians 5:11)

Encourage another mom today!

Faithfulness, Fruit, and “Calling Back”

“I thought you’d like to see a picture of the kids you helped me raise." The picture on the Christmas card was of a beautiful young couple’s wedding. The words came from a proud mama, a Mom to Mom “alum,” who was overflowing with joy at the ways in which God has grown and led her three young adult children.

But her words took me back many years—nearly two decades—to when I first met this woman. How different things were in her family then! Beth (not her real name) was struggling mightily in her role as mom, grappling with family dysfunction and anger and not wanting to be at Mom to Mom despite a friend’s insistence that she come. In fact, she was so angry and overwhelmed that she told me years later that she saved up all her bad language to use on Mom to Mom days because “if my leader knew who I really was, she wouldn’t keep on loving me like she does.”

But her leader did keep on loving her. Mightily and stubbornly, with the never-failing love of our God. Eventually Beth came to know not only her leader’s love, but the love of her leader’s God. I remember a note Beth wrote me one summer after a couple of years at Mom to Mom. “Just think,” she said,” Before Mom to Mom, I didn’t even know your God. Now He’s my God, too.”

Not only did Beth come to know God—but her whole family did as well. They joined our church, put the kids in a Christian school, eventually got involved in Bible studies and went on mission trips and testified mightily to the grace of God during times of grave illness. One of those now grown-up kids was the groom in the picture, marrying the young woman he met at his Christian college.

The fruit of faithfulness. Especially—and above all—the faithfulness of our God as He works in lives as He draws them to Himself. But he also uses our faithfulness. Faithfulness of dedicated Titus 2 leaders. Faithfulness of the administrators who make a ministry like Mom to Mom happen. Faithfulness of childcare workers who lovingly care for the children of moms who need to be at Mom to Mom.

Recently I had a vivid reminder of the mighty work of Mom to Mom childcare teams. I visited a new (first year) Mom to Mom in Maine where I was amazed and delighted to learn that their whole childcare team is made up of volunteers. Heroes, I’d call them—the men and women who care for kids so that their moms can grow as Christian moms.

The day I was there, the moms were honoring and thanking these wonderful childcare workers by each bringing something for a Christmas basket for each worker. Some moms had baked cookies, others made a small ornament or wrote a note or bought a small treat to add to each basket. The baskets were overflowing. And so was my heart—to see both God’s faithfulness in this wonderful team and the gratitude of these moms. And I thought of the investment being made which will bear fruit for years to come. “If only,” I thought. “If only the women who have worked so hard as leaders and administrators and childcare workers could see into the future to see the fruit of such faithfulness."

Back to that picture on the Christmas card. It also made me think of my Mom, who for years prayed faithfully for this Beth and her family. I believe Mom was at one time Beth’s Titus 2 leader—I’m not sure. But she knew about her and her family and tried to encourage them in every way she could. I wished that Mom could see this picture and read Beth’s note. Maybe she does.

This week—December 19, to be exact—is the third anniversary of my mom’s death. But her prayers live on, as I mentioned in a long-ago blog (“Deathless Prayers”). The reading for December 19 in an old-favorite devotional Mom often read, Streams in the Desert, includes a poem by an unknown author which always reminds me of Mom, of Mom to Mom, and of God’s faithfulness when we are faithful to “call back” about His faithfulness and provision to those coming along the road behind us in mothering. I share it with you as an encouragement to all of you who ”call back” to other moms—whether through leading a small group at Mom to Mom, sending a note (or an email, a text, a tweet) of encouragement, caring for kids so moms can grow in Jesus. Or praying “deathless prayers” over the moms and families Jesus so loves.

Call Back

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back— It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track; And if, perhaps, Faith’s light is dim, because the oil is low. Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back, and tell me He went with you into the storm; Call back, and say He kept you when the forest’s roots were torn; That when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill, He bore you up and held you where the lofty air was still.

O friend, call back and tell me for I cannot see your face; They say it glows with triumph, and your feet sprint in the race; But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim, And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you’ll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry, And if you’ll say He saw you through the night’s sin-darkened sky— If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back— It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

This Advent season, I hope you’ll keep “calling back” about the One whose birth we celebrate. He is faithful. He calls us to be faithful. There’s a picture ahead of you somewhere of the “kids you’re helping raise.”