“Even Christian Boys [Girls] Can Be Sad, Mommy”
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Woody and Linda Anderson on their 53rd wedding anniversary, June 2021
“Even Christian boys can be sad, Mommy.”
This long-ago heart cry from my then 4-year-old son rings in my ears. As I was tucking him in bed one night, he was feeling very sad because his grandparents, who had been visiting from across the country, had just left. “Yes, Bjorn,” I said. “Even Christian boys can be sad.” Girls, too.
I am writing to tell you all, my Mom to Mom friends and sisters, that this girl is really sad right now. Sadder than I have ever been. The reason (as summarized by our son Lars in a text to the family on the night of November 14, 2021) is this:
“At about 10:15 tonight Mom was able to lay Dad in the arms of Jesus. He went peacefully and quietly. He is where there are no more tears. All glory to God.”
It was the end of a long journey. It has now been nearly 10 years since Woody was first diagnosed (at age 66) with the early signs of Alzheimers-like dementia. Until just over a year ago, he was home with me. These last months he has been in a wonderfully caring memory-care residence. He has been leaving me, involuntarily, for many years.
Still, nothing compares to the final earthly goodbye. I was blessed to have some precious moments alone with him in his last week. I read some of his favorite passages from his own much-loved, totally marked up Bible. Unable to speak, he nodded as I read. I found myself repeating to him our wedding vows, which we had written and memorized over 53 years ago. At the end I said, “You know, honey, I mean them more than ever now.” He reached up from his wheelchair with thin, frail arms and hugged me. One last time.
All of our adult children were able to come (from New Hampshire, Alaska, and Ireland) to be with us in Woody’s last few days. We prayed, read Scripture, reminisced with both tears and laughter, and even watched a powerful sermon he had preached some years ago (on the DVD screen above his bed). For months I had prayed, “Jesus, when the time comes, please take him gently.” And He did.
The end of a marriage I wanted never to end. I was blessed with a wonderful husband. He was smart, funny, fascinating to talk to. He loved deeply and well. His patients. His friends. His children and grandchildren. His wife. Especially his wife. But above all, his God.
Some of you may feel you knew him a bit from the many stories I shared in my Mom to Mom teaching. He was all the things I told you. And much more.
But this is not all I want to tell you. Yes, I am sad. Really really sad. But I am not writing to tell you merely about a great sadness. I am also wanting to tell you—yes, again—about a really great hope. Actually an assurance. For Woody’s story is not just about an ending. It is also about a beginning. The beginning of what C. S. Lewis called “Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” The Last Battle (Chronicles of Narnia, #7)
He is home. Words from Zephaniah 3:20 jumped out at me this morning from the pages of a devotional: “at that time I will bring you home . . .” And I hear Jesus’ words from John 14, the words about the place He is preparing for us.
Yes, Woody is now in one place, and I am in another. Honestly, I don’t like that one bit. I wanted to be with him forever. But there are certain things I know about God. I want you to know them, too. We have a God who will never leave us or forsake us. A God Who will carry us. I know because He is carrying me. Right now. And in every single day I have left on this earth.
Like the protagonist Christian in The Pilgrims Progress, I can say, “I have been to the bottom, and the ground is firm.” For me. For you.
Revelation 21:1–5 was one of Woody’s favorite passages of Scripture. He often included the verses in letters he wrote to the families of patients who had died. I keep hearing them in my mind. I hope you will read them, and they will also dwell with you. Note especially the ringing confidence of verse 5:
“He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new.’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ ”
Yes. Yes. Yes!
[Editor’s note: A tribute page for Woody Anderson—with links to his obituary, funeral service, and a video of the sermon he preached in Wisconsin in 2007—can be found here.]