The Marriage Mirror: Is That Really Me?
/
It was only day two of our honeymoon and we were already having an argument that brought me to tears. We had been poking around a jewelry shop in a picturesque town and I remarked that I didn’t see any jewelry that I liked because the pieces looked coarse and unrefined. Once we left the shop, my new husband informed me that I had been rude to the saleslady because I criticized her merchandise. I thought I was just expressing an opinion. I wailed, “You care more about the feelings of that shopkeeper than you do about mine!”
Once I calmed down, I realized that my husband’s perspective was actually quite valid. At that stage in life, I did have a tendency to “tell it like it is” and that wasn’t always helpful.
Many years later, I now see there have been other occasions when my marriage has functioned like a mirror, reflecting character traits that I had never noticed in myself. My husband has helped me appreciate some strengths that I overlooked and, yes, a few shortcomings that needed to be addressed.
There is no other human being who is closer to me, and because my husband loves God and wants the best for me, he has tremendous potential to be used as a tool of God’s refining grace in my life.
Marriage has the power to bring about sanctification, which is simply the process of becoming more Christlike. Well, while the definition may be simple, the process is not simple at all! The process can be painful, like that tearful experience at the jewelry store on our honeymoon.
Husbands and wives don’t have the power to change each other, but they do have the privilege of pointing one another to the power of Christ, which is the ultimate source of true positive change.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
I am always reminded of this verse when my husband and I walk forward for communion at our church. My husband steps aside so that I can walk in front of him as he tenderly places his hands on my shoulders and walks behind me as we step forward to receive the bread and the cup. My husband and I know that we are “holy and blameless” and prepared for communion because of God’s grace and we have had the privilege of being instruments of that grace to each other. Yes, husbands and wives have the potential to change one another—for good!