When We Set Our Expectations Too Low
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Expectations. That word feels heavy, doesn’t it? We often think of the word in a negative context when we tell ourselves to “reset expectations” or “let go of expectations.”
But God has been speaking to me about expectations lately and instead of lowering my expectations, the Spirit has been encouraging me to raise my expectations – about what He can do. I think I too often settle for a small morsel of the joy and adventure that God has available for me. I felt particularly convicted of settling for “too little” or “just enough” from God when I recently read a Bible passage about a lavish gift that God gives us—the Holy Spirit.
Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! (Luke 11:11–13)
How much more…. Did you catch those words? How much more?! Like this father who gives a fish or an egg to his hungry child, I am happy to provide for the needs of my two daughters. So, it occurs to me that our Heavenly Father delights to give us everything we need through the presence of the Holy Spirit. How much more, indeed!
As we enter this 2021 holiday season, I know many of us are thinking about lowering our expectations. Our Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations may not unfold the way we’d like. There may be empty seats at our tables because of schedule conflicts and travel restrictions. And we may not be able to give the kind of gifts that we normally expect because of job loss or other financial constraints. Many of us are surrounded by grief and loss at this moment.
But, even as we adjust our expectations to acknowledge these difficult circumstances, can we also turn our attention to our Heavenly Father who desires to knock our socks off with the gift of His Holy Spirit?
Here are just a few sample suggestions for how we can experience more of Emmanuel, “God with us,” this holiday season:
Around the Thanksgiving table (or over videoconference), take turns talking about what you are thankful for. Be sure the kids share, too!
Read Psalm 100 aloud as you gather for Thanksgiving dinner. Better yet, ask one of the new young readers in your family to read this “psalm for giving grateful praise.”
Look for opportunities to spend time in the twinkling glow of your Christmas tree. Maybe you can read bedtime stories by your tree each evening. Or have an occasional picnic-style family dinner on the floor.
Visit your local library or bookstore for children’s books about the Christmas story. You just might experience the miraculous wonder of this story in a fresh new way as you read these books with your children.
Find a durable nativity set made of wood or plastic so your children can freely handle the pieces. Then encourage them to act out the story with the manger scene pieces as you read from Luke chapter 2 and Matthew chapter 2.
Choose a character in the Christmas story and ask each family member how they would feel in that position. “What do you think Mary was thinking when the angel appeared to her?” or “Do you think the stable owner was wondering why all the visitors came to see this baby?”
There are also many joyful opportunities for community service during the holiday season. Get your kids involved in gathering gifts and necessities for Angel Tree, Operation Christmas Child or your local food pantry/community center.
Yes, it probably makes sense to lower expectations of ourselves and others during this Thanksgiving and Christmas season. Let’s lighten the load wherever possible. But when it comes to expectations about the gift of our almighty, powerful God? Scripture tells us the appropriate bar for expectations is “more than we could ask or even imagine.”