Morning Prayers for Mamas

My morning prayers (and all-day prayers, really) are filled with mamas today.  That’s not unusual.  Many, many mamas are on my prayer list regularly—both close personal friends and Mom to Mom groups around the country.

But today my heart is especially heavy with recent conversations.  My memory is filled with God-moments from last weekend at the wonderful Hearts at Home Northeast Convention in Rochester, Minnesota.   Later this week I spent a few precious hours around a warm, cozy table on a gloomy November afternoon with mom-friends sharing deeply from their hearts.  And then there have been texts and phone calls and emails from near and far.

The stories swirl around my mind and fill my heart.  Young mamas struggle with multiple miscarriages, contested adoptions, tiny babies fighting mightily in NICU’s, and post-partum depression.   A 7-year-old is pushing a mama to the edge, and a 17-year-old makes one mother of 6 say to me, “If I’d had a 17-year-old first, I’d have had only one child!”

Mamas of young adult children are on their knees everywhere.  A daughter makes one terrible choice after another to pursue what looks like the life of her dreams but what may very well turn out to be a nightmare.   Another runs from God down “the labyrinthine paths of her own mind” (to borrow from Francis Thompson’s poem “The Hound of Heaven”).  How long will it take them to come to their senses?   Another fights the constant specter of past drug addiction, while a son battles alcoholism. Are they really “clean” and sober now?  Sons and daughters move home as marriages fall apart. Why is this happening to so many marriages?

I think of these stories and pray for these mamas and their children, no matter what age they are.  As I pray, God brings to mind words of encouragement.  Words from somewhat random sources.  Words which strengthen me as I pray and which I hope will encourage my friends—and every one of you who may need “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow” (as the great old hymn puts it):

• From an old prayer quoted in the September 12 reading from Streams in the Desert:  “O Lord, support us!  Yes, support us on every leaning side.”
• From Psalm 94:18-19: “When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”
• From a Facebook posting my daughter tells me comes from Ann Voskamp’s wonderful blog: “One foot in front of the other and one murmured thanks after another and underneath the Everlasting Arms will hold.”

I pray for every one of my mama-friends with leaning sides and slipping feet—including me!  And I wonder how it is that Sarah Young, in her amazing devotional Jesus Calling, always seems to make God’s Words speak directly into my life.  Just in case these words from her November 9 entry might describe you as they did me:

“. . . some fears surface over and over again, especially fear of the future.  You tend to project yourself into the next day, week, month, year, decade; and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times.  What you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn’t include Me.  These gloomy times that you imagine will not come to pass, since my Presence will be with you at all times.   When a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence into that mental image.  Say to yourself, “Jesus will be with me there and then.  With His help, I can cope!”  Then come home to the present moment, where you can enjoy peace in My Presence.”  ( Jesus Calling, p. 328)

My prayer for all of us, sisters of the leaning sides and slipping feet.

Mommies: Heroes and Best Friends

Mamas are everywhere in my world. They always are. That’s just the way I like it.  But especially this time of year.  I spent a weekend recently with some 1400 mommies at LifeWay's .Mom conference in Birmingham.  Then I came home to a season of speaking to Mom to Mom groups every few days.  I love it! One of the things I love most about being with moms is hearing their stories.  You already know this, but let me remind you: moms are heroes.  Their stories stay with me.  Stories of traumatic births, difficult pregnancies, unexpected pregnancies, long periods of infertility, miracle adoptions, foster-mom God-moments.  And stories of life with 8 kids (or more!) as well as magnificent testimonies to single-mom survival—even joy.

One of my favorite moments at the .Mom conference was meeting the recipients of our blog give-away—Lauren and Carrie.  Lauren, I’m sorry we didn’t get a picture.  But I got to spend a few precious moments with Carrie as she shared about her life as a single mom.  Moms as heroes—yes.  God’s grace poured out on these heroes—you bet!

Recently I’ve been reminded of  heroic everyday mom lives in my own family.  One daughter-in-law spends hours each day in the car to get her son to a good school.  Another daughter-in-law recently took on painting a room in the basement after the kids went to bed each night during a weekend with Daddy gone for three days—only to have the tape rip off the paint when the project was done.  Yikes!

Then there’s my sleep-deprived daughter Erika with 6-week-old Judah.   He is adorable (you knew I’d say that!)—and gifted, of course . :-)   The problem is that his gifts seem to be eating and growing—but not sleeping!  His parents are working on that.  He has a ways to go.  In the meantime, you all know the drill:  Mama’s gift becomes surviving—somehow—amidst the kind of sleep deprivation that would make most terrorists spill their guts!  You remember these days—yes?

But then there are other moments: mom-moments that make all the difference.  Moments that keep mom-heroes going even in the toughest places.  Erika had one of those moments recently.  One afternoon, on a very long day, Judah’s big sister, Gabriella, came down from her “rest time,” rushed into the living room, threw her arms around Erika, and said “Mommy, you’re my very best friend!”

Just a reminder for all of you in case your kids haven’t told you lately: not only are you a hero, but you are building precious relationships with these kids even amidst the toughest times.

What keeps you going amidst long days and short nights?  I’d love to hear your stories!

The #1 Thing Every Child Needs Most

I’ve been working on a new talk.  It’s called “In the Middle of the Muddle: What Matters and What Doesn’t.”   I’ve been thinking about the endless “to do” lists we moms have.  And I’ve been struck with how important it is for each of us to sort out what really really matters, and what doesn’t.

One of the things I loved most about Shauna Niequist’s book Bittersweet was her chapter entitled “Things I Don’t Do.”  It was a great reminder that in order to do the things we believe really do matter, we absolutely must let go of things that don’t matter as much.

It got me to thinking about what is truly the #1 thing I believe every child needs most.  Of course there are lots of candidates for this #1 spot.  But I chose my #1 because of its eternal power.  It’s the one thing that we never stop giving our kids: PRAYER.

A mother’s prayers.  For every day of her life—and, I believe, right on into eternity.

I was reminded of the power of a mother’s prayers recently when I had the privilege of speaking at a memorial service for my aunt.  Aunt Sue was a remarkable woman—especially for her times.  A seminary librarian for many years, she served as a librarian at a Native American school after she retired, married for the first time at age 75, and then traveled the world for many years setting up libraries at various mission seminaries and Bible schools while her retired-seminary-professor husband preached and taught.   She died just months short of her 100^th birthday and 25^th anniversary.

As I reflected on her life, I kept thinking of the little hard-scrabble farm in Minnesota where she was raised.  And immediately I thought of my grandma, a German farm wife with a first-grade education who learned English for the first time in her forties and raised six children who all had college degree—and, several of them, masters degrees or doctorates.

More importantly, I thought of Grandma’s prayers for her children.  Her deepest desire was to raise them in the Lord.  I came across a long-ago letter (written in 1950) in which Grandma commented that “the desire to have you safe in the arms of Jesus has never left me and will never leave me as long as we live.”  She went on to say, “I know we both have failed many times in giving you the right training, but God in His great mercy has made it so that you all have had the chance to experience the new birth which is the most important thing in life and our prayer is that after our earthly life is finished we will be able to say, Lord, here are those which Thou hast entrusted to us. (underlining hers) That will be heaven, first to see Christ who has redeemed us and to praise Him for bringing us safely home.”

A pretty good prayer, if you ask me.    Yes, we fail many times as parents—Grandma sure had that right.  But then come the pivotal words: “But God in His great mercy...”

And we keep on praying.  As I watch our children focus very intentionally on training their children in Godly ways, I think of the generational impact of mama-prayers—for our children, and their children, and their children’s children, as the Bible so often says.

Deathless prayers, as E. M. Bounds observes: “God shapes the world by prayers.  Prayer are deathless—they outlive the lives of those who utter them.”

So just in case you might be making your own list of Things I Do and Things I Don’t Do, here’s my recommendation for #1 on your “To Do” list: Pray for your kids—today, tomorrow, and always.

Welcome to a new grandson

He's here!   Praise God with us for a new grandson!  Judah Anderson Cronin was born in Dublin, Ireland, at 12:33 am on Saturday August 27, just 33 minutes into his due date.  Mommy, Daddy, and big sister Gabriella are doing well.  And Nana is loving getting acquainted with Judah as well as playing with Gigi (Gabriella's nickname)  while mommy is busy with the new baby. His name means "I will praise the Lord," and that's just what we're doing.  Please join us!

Blog Giveaway: We Have Two Winners!

Congratulations to the two names we drew from those who commented on my past two blog posts!  Lauren Barrow of Milton, FL, and Carrie Deering of Brenham, TX, we hope to see you at .MOM in Birmingham in September! To all the rest of you who commented, thank you so much for your thoughtful insights, suggestions, and words of encouragement for all of us moms.  Keep the comments coming.  We love hearing from you!

Life as a Real Mom: How Do You Do It?

A couple of weeks ago my husband Woody and I had the great joy of taking care of our two grandsons, Soren (4 ½) and Nils (14 mos) for a week while their parents were taking kids to Young Life camp.  It was a great refresher course in parenting.  We had a blast.  Really—it was so much fun!

I wish I could tell you more, but I have to be honest here: I had anticipated coming home with a notebook full (or at least a head full) of hilarious comments and antics and incidents with which I could entertain blog readers.  I thought this to be a realistic expectation.  Soren frequently says absolutely hilarious things.  He has a vivid imagination, a memory that is positively scary, and he is very verbal.  Nils is a clown.  He loves to get you laughing, and he mimics everything he sees his big brother do, which leads to some pretty funny entertainment.

But here’s the glitch.  Life moved too fast for me that entire week.  I never got to write anything down.  Not even a list for each day (my usual practice)—and certainly not witty sayings or doings in the small journal I had (how hilarious!) brought.  Both my daytimer and my journal are completely blank for that week.  Most of the time I think my mind was, too!

We did all kinds of fun things: we went to playgrounds; visited a children’s museum;  played pirates in the basement (Woody and Soren did, anyway—I was a little worried about Nils around the pirate sword); went out to lunch one day and out on another day for ice cream; even had a visit from a friend who surprised the boys with a new scooter for Soren and a push-trike for Nils.  And yes—we made a visit or two to the pediatrician.  I told you this was a refresher course on real-life parenting.  How could it not involve middle-of-the-night fevers and unexplained crying?

But here’s the thing: I had expected a break in the action now and then.  A time to reflect a bit.  Take a deep breath.  Write down a few of the wonderful things my grandsons did—and there were many!  But all I did was take a nap when they napped—and collapse on the couch after they went to bed.  Even though we were two-on-two (two adults there full-time, two kids), Woody and I pretty much just sat side by side and stared into space every evening.

So here’s my question for the week.  How do you keep your life balanced during these busy busy years?  Do you find time to do anything—anything at all—beyond the absolute necessities of each day?  If so, what’s your secret?

Don’t get me wrong: What you’re doing each day for and with your kids is huge—the best job in the world.  Feeding, rocking, changing, bathing, and playing with your kids is a huge accomplishment in itself.  In fact, if you wrote it all down on a “To Do” list, you’d be pretty impressed. (As recommended on my friend Jill Savage’s blog post the other day—great idea!)  I loved getting to do all that again.

But I seem to remember that when I had three pre-schoolers, I did manage—at least now and then—to read a book, complete my Bible Study lesson (some weeks), and find a few words left for my husband (on a good day) when he came home late at night.  I’m trying to remember: How did I do it?

Can you remind me?  I know many of your days feel like sheer survival.  But I also know some of you actually do read books, find time for personal devotions, blog, facebook with friends—at least now and then.  I even know some of you who are crafty and actually make things after your kids go to bed (quite beyond me even now, I must admit)!

So I’d love to hear from you.  What tips can you share about how you find time to create balance even in the midst of your mom-life?  Or maybe how you come to peace about not doing that right now!

Don’t forget: We’ll have a giveaway for two tickets to the .MOM conference in September from all of those who comment here by Thursday noon, July 28.  We look forward to hearing from you!

A “Don’t Miss” Conference for Moms—and a giveaway!

I’m excited to invite you all to LifeWay’s first-ever conference just for moms!  It will be held September 23–24, 2011, in Birmingham. Alabama.  Featured keynoters will include women whom some of you may know as favorite Bible Study teachers.  They are also moms: Priscilla Shirer, Vicki Courtney, and Angela Thomas, among others.  There will be tons of breakouts to choose from, lots of laughs guaranteed, and a “Mom Squad” to answer questions you might have.

Mom to Mom will be there, too.  I’ll be doing two of the breakout sessions, and we’ll be exhibiting, so we hope you’ll stop by and see us!

We’re so excited about this that we’re planning to give away two tickets to winners we’ll draw from those who comment on either of my next two blog posts (First Post,  Second Post) by noon (EDT) on Thursday, July 28.  Winners will be announced on Friday, July 29.  Don’t miss this chance!  And for more details on the conference, check out this link.

Memo from Monitor Land

Recently I had the gift of taking care of Gabriella, my 2 ½-year-old granddaughter, for four wonderful days.  “Gigi” (her nickname) and her mommy (our daughter Erika) were visiting us from Ireland for several weeks, and Erika had gone off to enjoy a girlfriend weekend with college friends.

Gigi and I had a ball.  We put puzzles together, built with blocks, played “taking care of baby brother”  (due to arrive in her house late summer), danced in crazy hats to silly kids’ songs, had teddy bear tea parties, went to the library and the beach and the playground—and savored ice cream treats.  It was “Nana heaven.”

It was a fresh look at  “life in monitor land.”  Believe it or not, our own kids were raised without monitors.  They just weren’t much in use at the time.  But in this Nana-season of my life, I have to say I love monitors!

Admittedly they have a downside.  I don’t sleep as well with a monitor on my dresser. There may actually be times when moms on duty 24/7 with young children would do well to turn them off.  When a child is settling into naptime, Mom might need a quiet break more then she needs to listen to every bit of jabbering and singing that goes on before sleep comes.

But it’s different with nanas.  Nanas love “listening in.”  It’s amazing how much you can learn about what goes on in a two-year-old’s mind.  Here are a few random things I learned from listening to the monitor:

• Kids often review their day as they go to sleep—or even in the middle of the night!  “Go in car with Nana….Run run run in water….Play in sand at beach….Have tea party with Teddy Bear.”  Then at 4 am, a brief reprise: “Chips [what they call french fries in Ireland] . . . choo choo . . . come home with NanaFarfar” [her word for her grandfather is the Swedish “farfar,” and Gigi runs our names together—kind of a nice reminder of two-become-one].  And then at 5 am: “Gigi taking good long nap!”

• Kids love to interact with stuffed animal friends: “Hi-ya, dolphin!”  Hi-ya, Penguin!  Hi-ya, Teddy!”  She even “read” several complete books to her bed-buddies.
• Kids work out issues as they talk them through.  “I take good nap . . . Bye bye, people . . . Mommy right back.”   Another time: “Mommy Daddy gone . . . Gigi play with NanaFarfar.”

• Kids cement their learning through review.  I remember hearing (via the monitor) our grandson Bengt practicing his counting.  Gigi would sing through her ABC song.  And one night I heard her reviewing—in rhythmic chant—the main characters in a book about the Lion King: “Simba, Nala, Scar, Zazu, Mufasa . . .” She especially loved the sound of that last one!
• Kids memorize easily and even internalize what you sing to them.  Several times I heard Gigi singing through the words of a song Erika often sings to her as she puts her to bed.  It’s a song I used to sing to Erika: “Peace” from The Music Machine.  I love the refrain: “Peace, peace, I think I understand/Peace, peace is holding Jesus’ hand.”  Not a bad way to drift off to sleep—for children or adults!

If you ever wonder what your kids are taking in during the day, try listening in to the monitor.  They may be absorbing a lot more than you think!

Mama Wings—and His!

It’s funny what you notice when you keep your eyes open.   I mean, really open.  Mine seem to have been opened wider than usual lately.  I think Ann Voskamp’s list (see my earlier blog post on One Thousand Gifts) got me started.   No, my own list is not anywhere near one thousand yet.  I’m sure God’s gifts have numbered way beyond that.  I just haven’t written them all down.  But I’ve gotten a good start.

So here’s one thing I’ve been noticing lately: wings.  First, mama wings.

On a walk last weekend, my husband, Woody, and I encountered an entire family of Canada geese.   Not at all unusual around here given goose overpopulation.  But these two were different—at first it only looked like two.   The mama was sitting on the sidewalk in a very strange position, while the daddy was standing at the edge toward the street at high alert, with beak open, looking ready to honk and attack any potential intruders.

Then we saw them—three tiny goslings almost completely covered under the mama’s outstretched wing. Sheltered. Protected. Safe.  We were so sorry we had no camera to capture that moment.

But we did get another picture: meet the mama I’ve been greeting every morning.  Just outside our front door, a pair of mourning doves has built a nest in the eaves under the porch. The mama dove has been sitting faithfully for what seems like forever on that nest. Every morning I’ve peeked out and checked on her, offering a little encouragement for her seemingly infinite perseverance—you know, “You go, girl!” and things like that.

At first I thought the eggs were just taking forever.  But suddenly one day I saw two little heads peeking out, and they weren’t as tiny as I’d expected them to be.  I think she had been sheltering those babies with her body for quite a while after they were born.  Because it seemed like no time and they were out of the nest, perched on the roof.  And then they were gone!   Faster even than my kids grew up and left for college—those 18 years seemed to go so fast!

These sweet mama birds protecting their babies reminded me of two things:  First, all of you mamas and the myriad ways you protect your babies—and kids way beyond babies.  You shelter them.  You cover them.  You teach them to fly.  And then you actually let them do it!  Wings.  Yes, wings—yours and theirs.

But second, it’s His wings that are ever on my mind these days.  Wings that shelter.  Wings that protect.  Wings that keep us safe no matter how fierce life’s storms swirling around us.

God even gave me a song to remind me of His wings at a time when I needed reminding.  Do any of you know the old hymn, “Under His Wings,” by William Cushing and Ira Sankey?    I could only remember part of the first verse: “Under His wings I am safely abiding, Though the night deepens and tempests are wild, Still I can trust Him; I know He will keep me. He has redeemed me and I am His child.”  And the chorus: “Under His wings, under His wings, Who from His love can sever? Under His wings my soul shall abide, Safely abide forever.”

I couldn’t find it in my hymnals, so I looked it up on the internet and sang along as part of this morning’s devotions.  It is based on lots of scripture—Psalm 17:8 and Psalm 91:1, for starters.

So today I’m thanking God for wings.  Mama-goose wings.  Mourning dove wings.  Your wings over your kids.  And even their wings (though scary)!

But most of all, His wings.  Just in case you need encouragement today about wings—your tired wings, your kids’ scary wings, or His protecting wings—try this with me (and the Psalmist): ". . . I sing in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 63:7)

She Swallowed a What?

“Oh, Mom, did Kelly tell you about Hannah swallowing a rock?”   My son Lars is on the phone talking about his just-turned-two-year-old daughter.  “She swallowed a what?” was, of course, my question in reply.

Now, we’ve known for quite some time that, as her parents put it, “Hannah is a piece of work.”  An absolutely adorable, hilarious, full-of-fun piece of work.  Hannah loves life.  She takes it by the tail and swings it around, laughing all the way.  Fortunately, she never does that to their dog, Ruby.  Actually, Hannah is a very loving, gentle child as well.  She’s just busy.  She just doesn’t want to miss anything.

But a rock?  I know every one of you mamas reading this is either hyper-ventilating just at the thought, or nodding your head knowingly, remembering your own similar incident with your child.

Let me assure you that Hannah’s mama, Kelly, my nurse daughter-in-law—who is one wonderful mother—was right on top of this from start to finish.  You can imagine: on the phone with the pediatrician; on duty with fruit and prune juice and all manner of “helps” to get this (fortunately) fairly smooth, small stone eliminated safely; and watchful of every possible symptom of blockage.  You know the drill.  And on her knees (as I was on mine), I’m sure, all at the same time.

Then came last night’s text: “Success! It took an enema and sounded like a champagne cork, but the rock is out!” Praise God!

The things our kids put us through!  Way beyond imagination, really.

As I thought about it (after thanking God profusely that all was A-OK with Hannah), I was suddenly reminded how like Hannah each of us are in God’s sight.  I do believe He sees us as wonderful, lovable, crazy-fun creations of His.  But at the same time we certainly need watching.  And we get ourselves into some pretty scary situations.

How thankful I am that He is as watchful, patient, and loving and care-giving with us as Kelly is with Hannah.  Even more so!  In fact, He loves us enough even to give us some pretty unpleasant-tasting stuff—or to put us through some not-very-fun procedures—to clear out what needs to go from our lives and restore us to health and life In Him.

Thank you, God, for protecting Hannah.  And thank you, God, for doing what needs to be done in our lives so that we might “take hold of the life that is fully life.”  (I Timothy 6:19b)