What Do You Wish He Knew?

Good news, girlfriends: It’s not January anymore. But the bad news? It’s February.

February in Wisconsin is generally not a big improvement over January in Wisconsin. This is true, apparently, across the country. I’ve been hearing about snow and ice and Mom to Mom “snow/ice days” in some of the most unlikely places.

There is, however, some good news about February. I’ve always preferred February to January. For one thing, it’s the month of Valentine’s Day. I really like Valentine’s Day. And it’s beautiful here today: light fairy-flake snow is falling gently in our yard and transforming the ordinary into something exquisitely beautiful.

Also—much bigger news—this year it is also the due-date-month for our fifth grandchild. He’s not due till February 16, but today marks the beginning of the two-weeks-before-due-date window, so who knows? I could be going to New Hampshire any day now to hang out with Soren and help Bjorn and Abby with their precious new little boy. Can’t wait!

Here’s some other news about February. Woody and I are preparing to teach a seminar at a big men’s conference this Saturday (“No Regrets” at Elmbrook Church here in Brookfield) on “Keeping the Romance Alive in Marriage.” Why is that good news? Two reasons: First, we have to practice what we’re getting ready to preach. :) And second, I love doing things like this together with Woody.

But, here’s where you come in—note the title of this blog. I need your help. Being one of the only women scheduled to be in the building with thousands of men, I want to represent all of us well. And I want to give these husbands some help in understanding what “keeping romance alive” in marriage looks like from the wife’s point of view.

So, here’s my question: What would you like your husband to know about your perspective in keeping romance alive in your marriage? What would you like him to say? Or do? Or not say or do? If this feels too personal, feel free to generalize: What would you like men to know about a woman’s perspective on what romance and passion look like in a marriage?

The conference is only a few days away, so rapid response would be appreciated. And even if you don’t get a chance to respond, I’m thinking this might be a good question for you to ponder anyway—and perhaps discuss with your husband. It could be good preparation for Valentine’s Day.

Speaking of which, Woody plans to do a little experiment with these men as an opener. First, he’s going to ask them: “How many of you know what tomorrow is?” (Note to any women who haven’t heard: Sunday, February 7, is Superbowl Sunday.) Guess how many hands will go up?! Then he plans to ask them: “How many of you know what one week from tomorrow is?” Now girls, you all know what that is.

I wonder what that show of hands will look like...

Stay tuned. And thanks ahead of time for any help you can give me.

He’s Home!

Rejoice with us: Our son is home from Afghanistan! On December 10, Lars arrived home to the eager arms of his beautiful and beloved wife and children in North Carolina. And as Bengt told me excitedly, “When I saw Daddy, I ran and ran and hugged him so hard I knocked him over!”

I feel as if I could do the same thing when I see him. He’s home! He’s Home! He’s home! It’s almost a constant chant at the back of my mind every day.

And tomorrow, Lars and family will be arriving here—at our home in Wisconsin! Woody and I are so excited we are like two little kids. Our whole family will be together for Christmas! Lars, Kelly, Bengt, and Hannah come tomorrow, followed in the next few days by Bjorn, Abby, and Soren from New Hampshire, and then Erika, Richie, and Gabriella from Ireland. We are grateful beyond words.

I woke up with a singing heart. And then I cried. Because there’s something else going on today. Yes, we are making final preparations for the much anticipated arrivals—big food shopping to do, baby equipment to be borrowed, and toys to be gathered from the corners of the house where they’ve been tucked away since our grandchildren’s last visit.

But today, December 19, is also the two-year anniversary of my mom’s Homegoing. Two years ago today, in Ft. Myers, Florida, with my brother and me and her sister and husband at her side, Mom went to be with Jesus. She was 84 years old. I was hugely blessed to have such a wonderful mom all these years. But still, I wasn’t ready to let her go. I knew I had to. I knew she would be better off with Jesus than in her hospice room, lovely as it was. But still, I didn’t want to let her go.

And now, two years later, I miss her every day.

I lay in bed this morning thinking of all the mixed emotions of this day—the anticipation, the joy and gratitude, the sheer happiness; yet the deep down sadness I still feel as well. And suddenly I realized something. That continual mantra at the back of my mind (“He’s home, He’s home, He’s home”) has multiple meanings for me this Christmas.

At this time of year we celebrate the coming of One who came and made his home with us for a little while. But this was not His Real Home. He died and rose again and returned to His Real Home that it might also become our Real Home. So because He’s home, my mom is, too.

Time now to go and get ready. My heart is singing! He’s home! HE’S home! And she’s home, too—along with my dad and Woody’s parents and so many many others we love. Good reason to celebrate, don’t you think?

Merry Christmas!