Five Mommies, Seven Sisters, and S’Mores

I’ve just returned from Mom to Mom Ministry Board meetings out in the Boston area.  What a great time we had working together, praying together, laughing together—even sharing a few tears from time to time, as we shared our hearts as well as our work.

But the dominant visual memory we will all have from our time together is this: S’Mores!  Yes, S’Mores—those wonderful, gooey, gloriously caloric treats many of us remember from Girl Scouts or Christian camps or family vacations.

Why S’Mores?  Well, because our chaplain, whom we affectionately call Pastor Kay, began our time together with a brief devotional in which she shared verses from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 in The Message about how much stronger we are as we work together: “A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”  Much less a 7-stranded one! Kay told us,

“We, board sisters, are much like s’mores.  Some of us tend to be like graham crackers: brittle at times, but ultimately sweet.  Others of us are more like marshmallows: soft with passion and heart-felt emotion.  Still others are more like dark chocolate: quiet, deep, yet so ‘just right’ at the moment needed.

But even though each board member offers individual treasures, when God put us together and added the ‘fire’ of the Holy Spirit, we became so much more than we would have ever been separately—we became s’mores.”

Kay’s devotional made me reflect back over the years since Mom to Mom began.  It’s always been a team effort.  From the three young moms who originally saw the need of such a ministry to the “Five Mommies” who first comprised the Mom to Mom Board to the “Seven Sisters” our board has grown to include, we’ve always shared the work.

And as we’ve shared the work, we’ve become, as Kay reminded us, so much more than any one of us could ever be by ourselves.   Even as we worked together and prayed together—and yes, played together (oh yes, we do know how to have a good time between all those meetings!) S’Mores became a sort of theme for our last three days together.

But the S’mores theme actually extends way beyond our little board.  I think it’s a picture of Mom to Mom groups throughout the country.  On the leadership level, we Titus 2 leaders are so much more as we join hands around our circles and work together and pray together and love and encourage moms together.  And our moms becomes so much more to their families as they share the joys and challenges of their work among their small groups.

Aren’t you glad God gave us each other?   Of course ultimately HE is the One who makes us so much more.  I’m reminded of Ephesians 4:16: “From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”  (NIV)

In case you’re wondering, yes, we did actually have S’Mores to eat—even though, for some of us working down to the wire before leaving for the airport, we had to take them “to go” in the car so it did get a little messy!

So today I’m thanking God for our Mom to Mom Ministry Board, for all of you doing Mom to Mom throughout the country—and for S’mores!

Parenting: A Marked or Unmarked Path?

I thought of all of you (all of the moms reading this blog) a couple of weekends ago when Woody and I started out on a morning of hiking.  We were at a state park in Door County in northern Wisconsin that we had visited a few years ago, and there was one particular trail which Woody remembered that he wanted to revisit.  It wound down some fairly steep cliffs (for us amateur hikers, that is) to become a lovely walk along the lake, with beautiful vistas over Lake Michigan.

At least that’s how we remembered it.  The problem was that we couldn’t find it!  We returned to the area where we thought the trailhead had begun, and there seemed to be absolutely no sign of this trail.  That was my impression, anyway.  Woody, on the other hand, bold explorer that he is, was quite sure he had located the start of the trail.  No, there was no sign there.  But there did seem to be a worn path leading down toward the lake.  And he was sure this must be the trail he remembered.

Now you need to know that this was in an area where all the trailheads are clearly marked.  We had parked in a visitor lot where there was a map of area trails.  And there were several other trail entrances that were clearly marked.  No sign of ours, however.  And both of us were confused by the map.  (An unusual event in Woody’s case.  He LOVES maps, and seems to have been born with a map in his brain. I, on the other hand, am perpetually confused by maps.  I much prefer written directions!)

As any of you who are married can guess, our day of happy hiking didn’t start out so well.   After considerable debate, we went with Woody’s initial plan.  We started out on the trail he was very sure was the one he remembered.  Despite the absence of any sign marking the beginning of a trailhead, we began to pick our way down a small bit of trail winding its way through overgrown roots along a rocky descent toward the lake.

As we proceeded, I couldn’t help but note (out-loud, you can be sure!) that not only had there been no sign at the beginning; there were also no little signs along the way—the small brown markings all the other trails in the area seemed to have indicating you were on the right path and headed toward your intended destination.

The path became increasingly indistinct—and simultaneously much steeper.  Finally I  couldn’t go any farther.  “Woody, I just can’t go on.  This is making me way too uncomfortable.  The path is becoming steeper and more overgrown, and I really don’t want to either get lost in these woods or go flying down this cliff directly into the lake.  I need some assurance that we’re on the right path.  I need signs.  I need a clearly marked trail.”

I think Woody was actually beginning to feel the same way, though he hadn’t so far mentioned it.  (He is Swedish, in case any of you aren’t aware of that.  This means a lot of things, but especially that he is very determined.  Some might say stubborn; but Woody does have a mostly endearing way of being determined, so I’ll stick with that.)  So yes, my Swedish husband admitted that we should probably turn around and retrace our steps.  We went back to the parking lot, looked at the map again (Woody did, anyway) and eventually drove to another visitor lot where we did indeed find the trail we had been looking for—signs and all.

So what does this have to do with all of you?  What does this have to do with parenting? As I was walking, I kept thinking of how hiking is like parenting.  It’s a long, hard, winding trail that requires our full attention.  Like the path we were on which was overgrown with roots and very rocky in spots, there are stages when all you can do is focus where you put your next foot.  It’s hard to even look up to what’s ahead, and sometimes nearly impossible to even enjoy the scenery around you because just making your way along the path takes all the energy and focus you’ve got.

But thank God it is not an unmarked path.  We have a guide book—God’s Word.  And we have clear signs along the way—both from the Bible and from other fellow travelers.  And we are not alone.  There are those walking alongside us as well as those farther down the trail that can call back and steer us in the right direction, cheer us along the way.

It’s really what Mom to Mom is all about.  We remind each other that we’re not on an unmarked path.  There is signage provided, direction given both from God’s Word and God’s people.  There are those who’ve gone before, both great men and women of Scripture and “Titus 2” moms, cheering us along the way.  They reach out when we need a hand.  They tell stories from further up the trail.  They provide company along the way.  They point us upward to the One who never ever leaves us alone, even for a minute, on this parenthood path.

How I hope and pray that all of you reading this either have Mom to Mom or something like it in your lives.  It helps you know you are on the right path, it helps clarify your intended destination, and it makes for much happier hiking!

Calling All Titus 2 Women!

Recently I have talked with a number of Mom to Mom leaders who are experiencing their annual summer challenge: How will God supply the new Titus 2 women we need to have by September in order to start (or re-start) Mom to Mom in the Fall?

This becomes an annual dilemma for Mom to Mom groups because, despite the amazingly high rate of return in Titus 2 leaders (most find it very hard to leave Mom to Mom once they have tasted the joys of mentoring moms; a frequent refrain from these women is “I couldn’t live without Mom to Mom myself!”), we are always looking for new leaders.  One reason for this is simply the changing seasons of life and shifts in responsibilities which necessarily pull some Titus 2 leaders away.  But the best reason for our annual need is that Mom to Mom groups tend to grow.  We’re always needing to form new groups.  And no one wants to put moms on a waiting list because we can’t find enough Titus 2 leaders.

This is, for me, the season when I begin to pray more intensely than ever for God to stir the hearts of potential Titus 2 women throughout the churches of our country to hear and recognize—and follow!—God’s call in this area.

So you can imagine my delight in coming across an article posted online by Susan Hunt entitled “Wanted: More Older Women Discipling Younger Women.”   While Hunt is coming from a slightly different perspective (she is focusing specifically on discipleship of believers and is addressing the broader need to disciple all women, while Mom to Mom focuses on moms and reaches out to include seekers), I was encouraged by her ringing call to churches to live up to the Titus 2 mandate.

For it is a mandate—not just a nice suggestion.  I well remember the three young moms who first came to me to ask if I would work with them in forming a ministry to moms.  “Don’t you think God meant what He said when He said in Titus 2:3-5 that older women are to teach and encourage younger women?” they asked.   Indeed!

The Titus 2 mandate is a generational responsibility.  As Hunt puts it: “Older [men and] women have the generational responsibility to share their gifts and graces with younger [men and] women.  They are to tell the stories of their victories as well as their failures and show how their stories are part of God’s grand story of redemption.”

This is a relational responsibility.  It is life-on-life ministry.  It is, in a sense, as we say at Mom to Mom and Hunt says as well, a mothering ministry.   The kind of ministry which Paul depicts in I Thessalonians 2:7-8, a favorite passage in Mom to Mom training which is also cited by Hunt:

“But we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.  We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”   (NIV)

Like mothering, however, this Biblical imperative, this calling, is not only a responsibility.  It is a great privilege, an almost indescribable joy.  In fact, one of the best ways to “recruit” future Titus 2 leaders is to invite them to visit Mom to Mom.  Most often, once they have the opportunity to see the thirst these moms have for Titus 2 women in their lives, and the joy it is to be a part of God’s great plan in this way, they are “hooked”!

As it is now mid-summer and many Mom to Mom groups are not currently meeting, the second best way to introduce potential leaders to Mom to Mom is to give them an opportunity to talk with other Titus 2 leaders and hear for themselves what a joy mentoring moms can be.  They can do this one-on-one or by joining your leadership group for a mid-summer connection or pre-season planning session. Of course we all know that the very best thing about Mom to Mom is watching God at work.  Look for any way(s) we can find to give women a glimpse of the life-change that so often occurs in these moms.  Watching our powerful God at work in the lives of women and families—and getting to be a small part of His big plan.  Does it get any better?!

I know that as I write about the joyful Biblical mandate of Titus 2, I am in a sense “preaching to the choir” on this blog.  Many of you are already Mom to Mom leaders and know the joy of loving on moms.  Some of you are desperately searching for more leaders and saying, “Yea and Amen to what you’re writing—why can’t more women in my church (or even my church leadership) see the urgency of this calling?” I just want to encourage you.  Don’t give up!  What you are doing is worth it!  It is worth it because God tells us to do it.  It is worth it because following God’s plan truly meets the needs of moms.  It is worth it because, as the old song says, “there is joy in serving Jesus”!

You may be encouraged by reading Susan Hunt’s article.  You may even want to share it with your pastor or Women’s Ministry leader.  Or at least feel inspired by the reminder that older women coming alongside younger women was God’s plan all along.

We at Mom to Mom are praying with you and for you as you pray and plan toward September.    God will supply all your needs.  (Philippians 4:19)   In His time . . .